From Isolation to Sisterhood: Crafting a Community of Resilience
Since January 2023, I've started putting myself first in new ways.
Sharing ‘one’ of my new ways today.
There are more.
This journey into the unknown crawls at the pace of a glacier, inching forward so slowly that its movement is almost invisible, yet it carves deep valleys in its wake, transforming the landscape.
But since January this year, my invisible world feels like this.
Sound on!
But since this January, my world has shifted.
My health is now my main focus.
My health isn’t a new thing at all but it’s ‘suddenly’ come into focus.
I had an ephiphany!
I’ll say more about that soon.
I’m currently putting my ‘ephiphany’ into practice.
By 'my health,' I mean honoring all parts of me: my mind, heart, body, and spirit. I'm committed to not betraying any aspect of myself.
Many of you are familiar with my struggle with inflammatory bowel disease.
You can read more about my health journey HERE.
It’s a chapter from my book, Misfit Table.
Diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 2008, I underwent surgery to remove my large intestine in 2012, followed by a year and a half with an ostomy bag to heal. In 2014, I faced a third surgery for a J-pouch.
I knew nothing the function of a large intestine.
Nobody around me did.
We don’t know until life happens, right?
In 2020, after more tests, I learned I had been misdiagnosed; it was Crohn's, not Ulcerative Colitis.
Understanding my body's needs amidst survival has been a challenge.
Yet, healing begins from within.
Much has been stirring beneath the surface.
In what I call the invisible.
I've reached a profound realization, possibly sparked by unseen shifts?
I don’t know.
Even so, I'm merging a new way of seeing with a new way of being.
I’m trusting myself, my intuition and my faithful companion, the living God.
I'm facing significant changes, embracing the uncertainty and unknown with open hands and a soft heart.
I'm discovering my worth, establishing boundaries, and witnessing a new life unfold with each action.
This transformation is like childbirth: the intense phases of transition, crowning, and pushing. I'm there, breath held, pushing through the pain.
I'm tired, resting between waves of relentless pain, confronting mountains I once thought insurmountable.
I've had to look deep within to keep going, mostly facing this journey alone.
The birthing process is mine alone.
I see now others can offer support, but only I can acknowledge and feel the profound shifts within my body.
In pain, I hated to be touched.
Back then I was young and knew nothing about trauma.
So I kept silent.
Not using my voice to say “don’t touch me.”
Or, I don’t like that, this feels better.” Etc.
Maybe touching me when my body was in so much pain broke my concentration.
I don’t know.
I do know I didn’t like it.
I share that because the last months I’m in pain.
Pain in many areas.
And I don’t want to be touched.
I want to go inward and focus.
This feels deeply natural to me.
I don’t want to explain myself.
I don’t care if it feels mean or selfish.
It’s not my intention.
I don’t want to explain myself.
I want to spend my time when I’m not at work writing it all out.
I realize why I haven’t been able to write what’s next is because I’ve first had to live it.
pause.
breathe.
reflect.
Like a mother bracing for birth, I'm navigating this challenging path to a new beginning.
Am I birthing myself? It seems surreal, but it resonates deeply.
Discussing my health, the silent battle with bowel disease and chronic pain, is a step forward.
It’s a big piece of my story yet to be fully explored.
My condition felt like it demanded drastic measures.
Crohn's disease, though often hidden, affects many.
I'm now ready to share my journey openly.
I aim to create a space for our stories, free from judgment and unsolicited advice.
Too often, online communities/tables, even though they are real, valuable and serve good purposes, can fall short.
We are meant to live eye to eye and face to face with the humans in our piece of the world.
In 2008, my diagnosis isolated me.
Despite the support from my children, mom and stepday, I felt alone in the new way of life.
Doctors lacked empathy, and friends distanced themselves, unable to face my reality.
This isolation has prompted me to build a badass sisterhood community here in Kansas City where I live.
An idea that's becoming more tangible.
Misfit Table: Recipes for Resilience came from this process.
Click to get tickets + details!
Sharing our stories can help others feel less alone!
We all seek connection, understanding, and support—beyond just medical conditions.
Finding others who share our emotional and practical challenges is helps us feel less alone.
And the process continues:)
Yet another invitation to a journey into the unknown.
One of the truly beautiful things about inviting others to join you in a community group is that the group as an entity has the capacity to solve many of its own problems, find solutions, innovate, and distribute responsibilities so that you aren’t alone in this.
We are in it together, and that is the entire point.
side by side,
T
P.S. As always, you can reach me by email. I love hearing from you. tiffinikilgore@gmail.com